


Space, Filling

by Ericine



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Dating, F/F, F/M, Female Friendship, Femslash, Femslash February, Friendship, Graduation, Grief/Mourning, Growing Up, Hair, I guess this could also technically count as very light, Loss, Promotion, Starfleet, Starfleet Academy, Weddings, change, hair is my favorite storytelling device
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 02:44:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13603890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ericine/pseuds/Ericine
Summary: Kat has a knack for stepping in when Pippa needs it. (Or, Five Times Katrina Did Philippa's Hair)





	Space, Filling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [R_S_B](https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_S_B/gifts), [Oparu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oparu/gifts).



> Ok, shoutouts to both R_S_B and Oparu for helping me brainstorm this in a fit of exhaustion ever since the last Disco episode aired. Basically, I had some thoughts about how well _that look_ (you know the one) was created. Holograms exist, but some things you just need other people for, you know?
> 
> Also, hair and makeup are two of my favorite storytelling devices on television.
> 
> **Notes:**
> 
> 1\. Afsaneh is the name that a corner of the internet has given to Commodore Paris from the AOS movies...and we've somehow all come to accept that as her name and that she and Georgiou were/are in love?
> 
> 2\. Nikos Georgiou was given as the name of Philippa's ex-husband (and the reason she has a Greek last name) from the Discovery novels. We really don't know much about him. I've taken a little artistic license.
> 
> 3\. Nicknames Pippa, Kat, and Gabe (for Philippa, Katrina, and Gabriel) were brainstormed up by...a combo of R_S_B and Pixie...though I guess Pippa's canon now. It's getting really hard for me to separate out the canon from the fanon in this fandom. XD

**i. date night**

Pippa was born with straight hair, and most of the time, she doesn’t mind it. It’s easy to maintain and fun to style. Curls, however, are dynamic and never the same. They’re fashioned out of partial skill and partial chance. So, when special occasions arise, Pippa curls her hair.

She’s usually efficient at it, because she’s been doing it for so long, but today is a little different. It isn’t until she feels the pain radiating through her arms that Pippa realizes she’s been doing this for a little longer than she intended - well, the pain plus Kat’s unmistakably furrowed brow behind her in the reflection of the mirror in their shared room. They’ve been roommates since fate landed them in the same room their first year in the Academy, and even now, at the beginning of their last year, Pippa still finds that she’s in Kat’s room or Kat’s in hers more often than not. If this was a regular program of study, Pippa would have considered asking if they could just move in to a house together after this - her, Kat, Gabe, and Afsaneh. Maybe a couple of other people in the class as well. She likes her class.

Except maybe she should rethink Afsaneh, seeing as she’s this nervous, and all she’s doing is going on a date with her.

“I can help you, maybe,” Kat suggests.

That’s when Pippa realizes her arms are shaking. She nods and holds the hair up just a little higher so that Kat can slip her hands under and take over.

Gabe has torn his attention away from his video game (“reflex practice,” he calls it) to peer at the action behind him curiously. “I don’t get it,” he declares. “She sleeps over almost every night. You guys are  _ practically _ sleeping together anyway. What makes this harder?”

Kat rolls her eyes and winds Pippa’s curl around the wand just a little bit tighter - she knows that Pippa’s going for tighter curls tonight. “They’ve finally figured out what they  _ are _ \--”

“--they’ve finally admitted it to themselves,” corrects Gabe. “Come on, we all saw this coming a mile away. Or...at least you and I did.”

Pippa exhales and closes her eyes. A lot of times, the playful bickering between the two of them is comforting, but right now, it’s just making her feel more antsy. “Could you two be a little bit more helpful?”

Kat doesn’t need to glare at Gabe. He’s already looking apologetic. He’s also used to their bickering putting her at ease. “Hey, no sweat. She lo-- _ likes _ you anyway. It’s just the two of you catching a meal together and taking a romantic walk by some bioluminescent plankton. That’s eighty percent of what you two do every night anyway because you’re such giant nerds.”

Pippa can’t help it - she laughs. The last curl completed, Kat separates out the hair a little and then squeezes her friend’s shoulders. “You’ve both been working your way toward this for a long time. Just enjoy being in the moment.”

When Pippa looks into the mirror and sees two encouraging smiles directed at her, it doesn’t help the nervousness, but it does stop her shaking, for the most part.

* * *

 

**ii. graduation**   


“Afsaneh, talk to me.” Afsaneh’s not walking away from her, but it feels like it. There’s so much going on today during Academy graduation, and both of them have parts to play during the graduation ceremony beyond receiving their commission, but even with that factored in, Afsaneh feels more distant to Pippa than she should, and Pippa feels shaken. She knows that both of them have landed assignments on completely different vessels, but  _ goodbye _ (which won’t really be goodbye - Pippa knows that there’s no way she can predict this, but she can  _ feel  _ it in every bone in her body) isn’t supposed to happen until a few weeks from now - not now, when everything else around her is changing.

Afsaneh’s been a constant for her, a home base. She hasn’t yet tried to adjust herself to the fact that she’ll have to do without that more quickly than she wants, and she really doesn’t want to start that now.

“Pippa, we’re both busy. Can’t we just talk about this--”

They’re in full dress uniform for this occasion, and while there technically aren’t any rules saying that she can’t wear her hair down, Pippa’s going to put it up so that she doesn’t have to worry about it for the rest of the day (she has a habit of touching her hair when she’s nervous). It’s a ponytail, low and on the side so that she doesn’t have to worry about the way it cascades for the holorecordings of the ceremony. Not that she has plenty of family to speak of, but Gabe, Kat, and Afsaneh’s families are going to be there, and she knows she’s going to end up in the background of  _ something _ .

Also, Pippa hates looking anything less than completely ready - it’s something she and her girlfriend have in common.

Would Afsaneh stay her girlfriend? That’s another conversation the two of them haven’t had. Not that they’re both overly concerned about labels, but things are changing.

Afsaneh hates change. Everyone knows that. What’s bothering Pippa is that she’s unsure about how Afsaneh’s feeling at all right now, and she’s used to knowing that almost as well as she knows herself.

“Okay, fine. But can you promise me that we’re going to talk about this later? I don’t want to leave things--”

Expression just as solid as its been that whole morning since they woke up, Afsaneh makes her way to Pippa in three strides, takes her face in both her hands, and kisses her breathless, sliding her hand through her hair.

“I love you, Pippa. I’m not leaving anything right now, and I never want to leave you.” Her voice quivers. “And if you make me think about that right now, I’m going to look puffy in all the pictures, and that’s not happening on my first day as an Academy graduate.”

Pippa pulls her back in for a kiss and leaves their foreheads together, touching. “I’m sorry. I just--”

“Don’t be sorry. I’ve never been as good at this as you are. I’ll see you tonight, okay? I  _ promise _ .”

They kiss once more before she walks away.

When Pippa looks into the mirror, she sees that she’s been crying and hasn’t realized it. Also, her hair is a mess. She inhales, draws herself straight, and goes to fix it.

A pair of hands join her own.

Pippa groans, even as she spares three fingers to squeeze Kat’s hand. “Please tell me you didn’t see all of that.”

“I didn’t see... _ all _ of it?” Kat smiles at her in the mirror. The concern on her friend’s face is fleeting, like maybe Pippa just imagined it. “Are you gathering the hair on the side or in the back?”

“The side.”

Friendly, Kat pushes Pippa’s hands away and starts to smooth out the tangled curls. “There’s no shame in it, seriously. Everyone’s emotional right now. Just some people have different ways of showing it.”

She figures that’s true. Kat’s been morose for weeks. She knows that they’d never choose another type of life - the Academy has made sure in a lot of different ways that they know for themselves that this is the type of life they want. For the four of them, that means ship life. Still, she has to ask: “Gabe’s emotional?”

Kat wraps a few strands of hair around the top of the ponytail and pins them into place to hide the band. “Blustery. Concerned.” She rolls her eyes. “We’ve had sex three times  _ this morning _ . I’m having trouble sitting down.”

Pippa bursts into laughter. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“Well, you know what they say. Space is a big place, but we’re in a small world. I’m sure you’ll end up tumbling into my corner of it at some point. Probably when I least expect it.”

* * *

 

**iii. wedding**   


Kat tucks the last piece of hair into place in Pippa’s updo. “Open your eyes.” Always obedient to her word, Pippa hasn’t opened her eyes the entire time this has been going on, because the end product is supposed to be a surprise. Kat suspects she may have fallen asleep at some point, but Pippa’s never been one to move around much while she’s sleeping, so Kat lets her sleep.

Pippa’s opted for a standard Starfleet ceremony for the most part, something Nikos agreed to early on. There are a few personal touches they’ve added on both sides, but Pippa’s getting married in uniform, just like they always knew she would.

Nikos Georgiou is a good man. Kat knows this and she’s only met him a few times (Pippa was a little nervous the first time - Kat’s known for her people reading skills, and Kat has been supportive of the other people Pippa’s dated, but no one had ever received her enthusiastic approval. But even then, she’d liked Nikos. He’s a musician, and though he doesn’t share Pippa’s enthusiasm for space (to be fair, Kat’s not sure anyone shares Pippa’s enthusiasm for space), he looks at music the same way she looks at the stars. He also writes her songs. It’s a good match.

Pippa hasn’t actually specified the way that she wants her hair to be today, just says she wants something big and different. Pippa isn’t doing bridesmaids the way that Kat traditionally thinks of bridesmaids, but she’s also the only one in the room helping Pippa get ready. She figures that’s about as close as she gets.

She got emotional when Pippa asked her. The length and breadth of their friendship spans an entire quadrant, and it started completely by accident. It’s the kind of thing that Pippa talks about when she talks about the wonder of the universe and Kat talks about when she mentions the wonder of people.

The elephant in the room is actually not here today - not on purpose, though Kat’s not sure of the extent to which that was controlled by the two of them. Afsaneh is assigned elsewhere and has also been married for a few years. She, Pippa, and Gabe had been able to make it to the ceremony. If Pippa felt some way about it (and Kat knew she had to be feeling  _ something _ ), she said nothing, and Pippa didn’t press.

Anyway, those choices have been made. They’ve all moving on.

Pippa opens her eyes and sees that her hair has been French braided until halfway down her head, then looped up into a curly bun. Pippa’s not a flowers person, so Kat’s tucked in small streams of thin, shimmery metal amongst the curls. Pippa’s eyes well up, and Kat’s do too.

“I don’t know when I started trusting you with these kinds of things completely, but here we are. It’s perfect.”

Kat hugs her. “Only the best for my friend on her wedding day.”

Pippa smiles with the confidence and levity that Kat’s seen her grow into over the years she’s known her. “I’d accept nothing less.”

* * *

 

**iv. promotion**   


They meet before the sun, which Kat finds a little hilarious, seeing as both of them had so much trouble getting out of bed when they were at the Academy. Things have certainly changed since then. They both wear captains’ uniforms, and Kat’s about to become the first of their group to wear an admiral’s uniform. That’s what has brought them together today, and though their schedules are tight - she’s pretty sure Pippa took leave just to be here for her - it’s heartwarming to know that Pippa always would move things around to be there for her.

Pippa raises her eyebrows when Kat appears in her doorway. “Gabe didn’t want to wake up?” Pippa had arrived here two days ago but hadn’t asked her to meet up until yesterday. She was being considerate. Kat and Gabe hadn’t seen each other in quite a while.

Kat chuckles as Pippa steps aside and lets her in. “He says he’s on vacation and he’ll probably end up talking to you all night anyway, because I’m going to have to rub elbows with all the dignitaries, and you know he hates that.”

Pippa smiles, characteristic laughter in her eyes. It wasn’t her favorite part of such events either, but she fared with it much better than he did. “Did you not explain to him that there is still a diplomatic portion to diplomatic functions?”

Pippa’s made coffee for both of them, just like old times. Kat takes her seat and finds that it’s already the perfect temperature. They’ve both learned to run things around them like clockwork. “You say this like you’re not going to spend all night sitting with him in the corner, drinking just a little too much wine.”

“We take our celebrations when we can,” Pippa grins. “I’m pretty comfortable in speaking for him when I say that we’re very proud of you. Afsaneh too.”

Kat sets her cup down as Pippa joins her at the table. “Oh, you know that she’s arriving later today.”

She doesn’t know when Pippa’s mastered the friendly-yet-chiding look, but she finds herself one the other end of it now. “We’re certainly not children anymore. It’s been a long time. I’m doing fine. I’m sure she’s holding up fine too.”

Kat hadn’t brought up Afsaneh’s divorce to Pippa when she found out about it. She figured she would hear at some point, and Pippa had gotten divorced too. They weren’t bad situations, as divorces go, but she wasn’t in a hurry to bring it up, especially when there were so many other things to talk about during their limited time to converse with each other. “I think at least one of the kids has expressed an interesting in joining Starfleet.”

Pippa’s face lights up. “Well, we’ll see how that plays out, won’t we?”

They drink their coffees in comfortable silence.

“You don’t think it’s going to make things weird, is it?” Kat asks, as Pippa begins to undo her braid. She probably slept in it, and that’s why the hair spilling over her shoulders is in light waves.

“What? Possibly having to give orders someday to one of Afsaneh’s munchkins?”

Kat laughs and is a little stricken. When had they gotten so old? “No, me giving orders to you.”

Pippa handwaves it before she’s even finished speaking. “Absolutely not. We’ve never had problems with that kind of thing before. It’s not like we all got promoted at the same time.

“Yes, but--” She doesn’t know how to finish that. This time is different, maybe. Pippa’s a lot like Gabe. They’re both one with their starships. Admiralship would not be something either of them would accept easily. They’re all finally reaching where they wanted to be in their careers - it’s the beginning of a new era for all of them.

The sun catches a little bit of Pippa’s braid then, a slightly frizzy halo of browns and golds in the early sun. “Kat, you are going to make such great changes for Starfleet. You’re going to be able to lead it to such wonderful places. Focus on that today. The rest of it will be there later.”

Kat takes a deep breath and gestures to Pippa’s hair. “I can help you with that.”

“It’s your day, not mine,” Pippa protests, as Kat rises and begins undoing her braid. She must have slept with her hair that way because it falls into smooth waves in her hand.

“I want to spend it with my friends. And also, I have some new Vulcan hair serum that’s supposed to work  _ magic _ ,” Kat tells her. “But okay, before we go back to focusing on my admiralship and all of the stuff that brings with it?”

“What?”

“Talk to Afsaneh.”

“We  _ do _ talk.” Every once in a while, they do more than talk. It depends on a lot of things.

“You know what I mean. Talk to her about the two of you. We’re all starting to settle into ourselves, right? Maybe you two should figure out where you fit into that picture.”

Pippa sighs and rolls out the aches in her neck. “I can’t argue with sound advice like that.”

“Come with me to meet her?”

Pippa nods. “Bring Gabe. We hardly ever see each other anymore. Who knows when we’ll all be together again?”

* * *

 

**v. discovery**   


Kat can’t settle on how she’s feeling right now. Didn’t her grandfather tell her stories when she was a young girl about the consequences of wishing the dead back to life?

She rubs her back. It’s a phantom itch, around the part of her spine that was injured and since healed, and she usually tries not to entertain it. Today, though, she gives herself free reign.

She gives herself all of the free reign.

Philippa Georgiou stands in front of her, but she’s not her friend, her roommate, her confidante.

She is, however, the reason this plan is going to work, this last-ditch effort to stop this thing that has already ended so many ( _ so many _ ) of them.

Kat is a sick mix of relief, anxiety, desperation, single-mindedness, autopilot, terror, gratitude, mourning, and ruthlessness.

She hates that last one. But she knew as soon as this Pippa suggested it that it was a good plan and that it was their slimmest, best chance. From what little Acting Captain Saru and Specialist Burnham had told her about the mirror universe, it sounds like everyone there has a counterpart like them, someone just a little bit twisted.

She feels a little bit twisted.

She feels nauseous.

Sick. She settles on that thought: she just feels sick.

This Pippa has none of her Pippa’s warmth. Her eyes do not sparkle when she looks at the stars - it’s hard for her to look at light at all. But there are glimpses of her - when she smiles at something Kat says, for example - or when she looks at Michael.

This woman took over an entire empire by herself.

Kat can’t think about how this woman may have known her there or  _ if _ she exists there at all.

She reaches out and hands this Pippa the correct uniform. She’ll have to redo her makeup and her hair, but there are holograms for that. She probably could leave her now if she wanted.

She stays.

“So single-minded, and yet, you were always one of the harder ones to read,” the former emperor says, peering at Kat in that way she does, that way that is as sharp (as  _ wrong _ ) as the edges of her iron-flat hair. “What are you thinking, Kitty?”

“It’s Katrina,” Kat finds herself saying roughly. “Or, uh. Kat. Kat works fine.” She hates that there’s a small part of her that wants to live this fantasy - that Pippa’s alive and that together, they’ll be able to think their way out of his unholy mess.

“Kat.” This woman rolls the nickname around her mouth, and Kat dislikes the way it sounds immediately. She’ll have to lose this way of talking if their plan is to work. Hopefully sooner rather than later. “You called me Pippa,” she says, without a thought for modesty as she disrobes in front of Kat and picks up the Starfleet uniform pants, “but only when we were alone.”

It’s not cold in here, and Kat shivers.

She holds up a hand. “I don’t want to know. And I’ll address you as Philippa.” She can’t stop herself from calling her Pippa inside of her head, though.

“Don’t you?” Pippa asks, raising her eyebrows. She zips up the front of the uniform and narrows her eyes just a little. “You are not unlike me, I think. I’ve lost everything.”

“I haven’t,” counters Kat. It sounds believable, she realizes incredulously.

Pippa tilts her head. “Really,  _ Kat _ , no? Okay, I’ll give you that. No matter. I remember what it’s like to be  _ losing _ as well.” She turns to the mirror. “The makeup will be easy. The hair will be harder. So…” She looks at Kat through the mirror, searching for the word. “Frivolous. Not like mine.” She eyes Kat’s hair in the mirror. “Not like yours.”

She refuses to think about how she and this Pippa  _ do their hair the same way _ right now. “I can help.”

The last of the uniform fastened, Pippa turns around to look straight at her. “With the hair. I bet you can.” True to Kat’s wishes, though (maybe?), she doesn’t say anything else. “Shall I sit?”

She gestures to a chair wordlessly.

This hair is a little bit coarser and darker, but that’s easily enough corrected, and her hands still remember what to do. She produces one curl, then another and another.

Pippa’s nails brush hers, a little harder than necessary.

“What?”

“Speaking wasn’t getting your attention.”

“Is there a question in there?”

Pippa smiles, thin-lipped and wide. “Just an offer.”

She can’t stop herself. Maybe it’s this Pippa. Maybe she’s on a roll. Maybe her control’s just frayed too much to ration for a filter right now. “Another one?”

Pippa shrugs a single shoulder. “If you ever want to drink about it, let me know.”

It’s a terrible idea.

It’s been a day -  _ months _ of terrible ideas. And in a few minutes, this Pippa is going to walk onto the bridge of _Discovery_ , and all hell's going to break loose.  


“Noted,” she tells her, as Pippa Georgiou springs to life under her hands, a work of her own creation.


End file.
